The Blue Box
by stevecarlsburg13
Summary: A mysterious blue box has showed up in Night Vale. What does it want? What is inside? And why do the interns continue to die?
1. Chapter 1

The universe is in a loop. When we reach the end, we return to the beginning. Welcome to Night Vale.

*Intro music plays.*

Hello listeners. I'm sure you all have noticed the strange blue box that appeared overnight outside of the Arbys. The box seems to be normal with a sign labeled "Police Box" on the front. Now I don't know about you, listeners, but this just seems ridiculous to me. Everybody knows that the sheriff's secret police do not come from boxes. When asked to comment on the situation, the Secret Police just nodded and reminded everyone that the box does not exist. You do not exist. We are all nothing. They then simultaneously lay on the floor and turned translucent. More on that story, yesterday.

Mayor Pamela Winchell has called yet another press conference today. She then stared at the audience for a full 9 minutes before screaming "We are not who say we are. We are lying to ourselves. We are lying to everybody. We are worthless. WORTHLESS." She then proceeded to grow a strange metallic eyestalk and plunger and shoot the reporters.

And now: Traffic.

Several accidents have occurred on the route 831.43 today due to a highway patrol being run over and killed after he shouted "YOU IGNORANT FOOLS. WHY DO YOU STILL INSIST THAT CARS ARE REAL? CARS ARE IMAGINARY. GET A-"

Accidents have been expected until about 2:00, when the body will no longer have existed and will not be blocking the roads anymore.

An update on the mysterious blue box. We sent Intern Maria to investigate what was inside, and she has not reported back since. We suspect that a black hole had consumed her and her soul when she opened the doors. Intern Maria has now set the record for the shortest intern to work at Night Vale community radio, and we hope that her legacy will still live on.

And now a work from our sponsor: Vortex.

That was a word from our sponsor.

We have just been informed that two bodies have emerged out of the blue box. One has been described as a tall man with ridiculous hair and a bow tie that looks suspiciously like the one I am wearing right now and thousand years' old eyes that can stare into your soul. The second one has been described as a girl.

The man began screaming nonsense about time travel, which has luckily been made legal again and something about coincidences and fezzes.

This update has been very helpful. Thank you Ste-

Oh no. _Steve Carlsberg. Steve Carlsberg_ sent in the update. I have just complimented _Steve. Carlsberg_. I have to go now. I have to go. Please. I'm sorry. Just…just…here's the weather.

*The Doctor Is Dying by Chameleon Circuit*

Welcome back, listeners. I just came from the bathroom where I wiped my mouth with soap for the majority of the segment. I hope you can forgive me for the terrible mistake I made.

The strange man and woman that…_Steve Carlsberg…_reported earlier have travelled back into the strange box and disappeared as quickly as they came.

We may never know who they were or why they came or why his blue box was labeled so inaccurately.

But we may never know a lot of things. Why the clouds can float. Why beautiful flawless Carlos shaved his perfect hair. Why Steve Carlsberg has to exist. Why there is a giant spider crawling into your ear. We will constantly be surrounded by questions we may never know the answer to. Or answers that we may never have questions about. But what we do know is that it is time to say goodnight. Goodnight, Night Vale. Goodnight.


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors note**: This was requested by someone and it is nowhere near as good at the first chapter but I tried...

"Barcelona!" The Doctor screamed. "I've always wanted to go to Barcelona, but I can never seem to find the time." He pushed down another lever and pressed a bell.

"What's so great about Barcelona? It's just a city." Clara asked, failing to hold on to the rail.

"Not Barcelona: the city. Barcelona: the planet!" The Doctor shouted getting more excited as the TARDIS lurched forward. He pushed a final button and ran to the door without looking at the screen. He opened the doors only to have the smile on his face drop. "Why won't you let me go to Barcelona?" he muttered to the TARDIS.

"So where are we?" Clara walked out, looking out at the desert town. It looked fairly normal, not something you would expect a planet called Barcelona to look like.

"I don't know. This place seems familiar; I can't put my finger on it. Maybe I've seen it in the future. Or the past…" he trailed off, tapping his forehead and trying to remember.

"So…we're not in Barcelona?" Clara confirmed.

"No. I would know. Did you know that on Barcelona, they legally require all the children between ages 3 and 7 to wear fezzes? It's wonderful."

They looked around and noticed a fairly normal looking man, though he seemed slightly more like a jerk than the average man, staring at them and muttering that he needed to report this. The Doctor sighed and muttered something that sounded suspiciously like "why do people always want to report me?" Just then they noticed a young woman running with her iPod in her ears. They would have guessed she was a jogger but her frantic expression told them she was running away from something. She dropped her iPod on the ground to free her hands and ran towards a house that they had not noticed was there a second ago.

"Excuse me! You dropped your-" The Doctor started to yell but stopped as he noticed she was gone. He noticed something was playing out of it and he put it in his ear. Clara took the other side and copied him. A man with a smooth and soothing voice filled their ears.

"We suspect that a black hole had consumed her and her soul when she opened the doors. Intern Maria has now set the record for the shortest intern to work at Night Vale community radio, and we hope that her legacy will still live on."

The Doctors face froze. "Oh no." He mumbled dropping the iPod and speed walking back to the TARDIS with a distressed expression on his face.

"Doctor, what? What's wrong? What's happening?" She shouted, frustrated as she followed him back into the TARDIS. As soon as she entered the doors, the machine faded away. "What was that?" Clara continued to shout, trying to figure out what just happened.

"I'm not going back there, Clara. Not again."


End file.
